A Foreigner in a Jeepney
by JulietGivesUp
Summary: What happens when you meet an American riding on Philippine's most popular form of transportation, the jeepney? If you're Filipino, chances are this is how it will play out. If you're not, maybe expect something like this. AU.


**Hello and magandang umaga (at least up here where I live)! This is just kind of a quick,jot-down story that I was writing in the car to pass the time. May I just say that it is also based from Miss Yeng Constantino's song, '_Jeepney Lovestory_.' The idea just popped up while I was listening to the song and who better to play the foreigner but our awesome hero, America? I had a feeling I'd make it all corny though, so I apologize in advance for the cliques and cheapness. **

**Might I also add that the story is more keen on Filipino experiences and terms, so I hope you can somewhat relate/understand them (...or not?). Granted the great possibility that almost everyone reading this story is Pinoy themselves. Anyways, f****or all you other Filipinos out there, please feel free to correct my words and terms. I've lived in the U.S. for quite a long time that I've shamefully forgotten to write Tagalog. ****Shame...**  


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**Meeting a Foreigner in a Jeepney  
**

It was another day, that is, another _scorching, busy day_ in Manila. And that's still to say the very least. I could clearly make out the haze in the streets as people darted from all directions bumping and shoving to get to their businesses. The humid air was overflowing with ceaseless chatter from the street vendors advertising their goods and *barkeros announcing the jeepney's destinations and stops. The apparent hectic atmosphere did absolutely nothing to help brighten my mood one bit as I got onto the jeepney heading for Laguna.

My entire day was anything but peaceful from my boss's idiotic antics and the rest of the company's staff after me with ceaseless "favors" and "errands." I'm surprise I didn't just drop dead right there in the conference room. To make it even worse, I have a stack of paperwork to do when I get home in order to catch up tomorrow's deadline. Don't get me wrong, I do try to refuse the workload but it isn't easy when you've got the whole staff declaring "we are all counting on you!" I really don't get paid enough for all the stress, but you've got to make some money, right?

There was a quick tap by the barker and the jeepney began to move. Searching for loose change to pay for the fare, I stretched my arm handing the money to the guy beside me.

"Bayad po! (Here's my money!)" I called to the driver not even bothering to look at the man. Clutching the handle on the ceiling, I attempted to nap just even for one moment. There won't be another chance to do so for the whole month. God so help me…

"Excuse me miss," a voice next to me inquired with a slightly egotistical tone. It didn't sound like the English people attempted to speak around here. In fact, he sounded rather…American. Oh great, another tourist. I lifted a wary eye in acknowledgement.

I was astounded to meet bright, spangled blue eyes encased in glasses frames. The owner, _indeed_ a genuine American, was beaming cheerfully with his toothpaste-commercial pearly whites. Dirty blonde hair ran through his head with a peculiar strand sticking out stubbornly on the front. His hair color was remarkable in our country as almost everybody had either jet black hair or chocolate brown, with the exception of old people and those who simply chose to die it of course. Some of the foreigner's shirt buttons were undone revealing creamy, yet proudly sun kissed skin. There was no denying it, he was very handsome.

"Umm…miss?" Well, that snapped me out of my thoughts.

"O-Oh…yeah. Yes?" I replied unintelligently, inwardly slapping myself.

"I was just asking how to get to Marikina from here?" he pointed at the map. I froze searching for English words to form a sensible sentence. I had never done well in English back in school, but throw in a math problem or a scientific equation and I can solve it in the speed of light. Too bad English and grammar were a _whole _different story.

The man looked at me expecting an answer. _Dios ko po! Ano kaya ang sasabihin ko dito! _(Oh my god! What am I supposed to say to him!)

And that's when I did the most stupid thing to do in the situation. Just for the record, please give me a break. I was merely trying to help the handsome foreigner. I couldn't help but sound like a babbling idiot.

"Ah! *Ano…you…," I gestured to him, "Pupunta…err…go to the umm, ano… y-you…tawid the kalye, you know? Umm…paano ba yun? (...how do you say it?). You go like this in the kalye," I tried to motion someone going across the street. His eyebrows knitted together and he just nodded.

"Yeah…okay…continue?"

"Oh yeah…you tawid the kalye, tapos…ano. You go walking, yeah, walking very, very faster, you know," I looked at him to see if he was listening. "Then you go sa paligid where may poster nang baboy…hmm… ano kaya yun sa Ingles? (Hmm…what is that in English?) Oh, you go around," I waved my hand showing it going around a building.

"You…you go where the poster. Big, big poster with baboy in it. You know? Like oink, oink, oink!" As embarrassing as it sounded, I made loud oinking sound.

"Are you talking about a pig?" the American replied chuckling a little a bit.

"Yes! Talking pig! That one!" I exclaimed giving him a thumbs up like the Americans on tv. He smiled even bigger and did a thumbs up too. I guess it worked.

"After that you sakay on the tricycle. Like vroom, vroom, vroom! You understand?"

"Sure. The tricycle goes vroom, vroom, vroom!" By now he was laughing. If I wasn't so embarrassed I would've laughed too. His laugh was very refreshing and carefree; I think he could just about bring anyone to laugh along with him.

I finished and found myself smiling a little. "You going to the left and you be there already."

"Hahaha. Okay. Do you think you can repeat the part about the oink, oink and the vroom, vroom again?" he joked flashing me another one of his American smiles. I punched him playfully in the shoulder and we both burst out laughing. Everyone in the jeep was giving us incredulous looks, including the driver who pulled up at a school.

Kids and teenagers piled in after another filling the jeepney with new passengers. In less than a few seconds, I was packed in between a college student and Mr. American. We were so close together that I could smell his musky cologne merely inches away from me. I tried scooting away from him only to be squished back closer by a much heftier student in our aisle.

"Is it always like this?" he asked as he was pushed down further in the human row. I nodded apologetically trying not to lean any closer to him. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. The name's Alfred F. Jones, by the way. I would try and shake your hand but it's a bit inconvenient right now."

"Hello and good day Alfred," I remembered learning from second grade. "My name is Maria Fernandez. I am very sorry. I do not speak English very well."

"It's cool. I probably should've learned how to speak the language here anyways."

Before I could reply, a fat old man squeezed in between us. I did not know how he had ever managed to do so, but it was quite exasperating for me not only because it tightened whatever room there was left in the jeep, but his enormous stomach deprived me of seeing the good looking man previously sitting beside me. I huffed in annoyance and I suppose Alfred mistook that for discomfort.

"How you are you holding up there?" he called sympathetically from across the man's great hill of a belly.

"Fine, I am fine…," I managed to choke out. He forwarded me a wink that almost shot me down right in the spot and slumped back to his seat. _Kilig to the max! _

As time went by, passengers gradually left the vehicle leaving more room inside. Unfortunately, the fat man was still sitting between us and refused to move. His shiny, bald head was angled in my direction, eyes closed and drooling. Alfred was merrily looking out the window enjoying the view, whatever view there was to see outside.

I wanted so badly to erupt into a conversation but what could have I said? I must've already looked stupid making those ludicrous sounds and violent hand gestures. He must think I'm a lunatic.

God was ever so kind to give me another opportunity when a lady happened to sit by me and hand her bayad (money) for me to pass on to the driver.

"Paabot naman, neng (Please pass it on, child)" she said. I received the money and gave her a grateful look. In return she gave me a strange face. _Eto na ang chance ko! _(Here's my chance!)

I turned back and tried to look cool, when I saw that Alfred was already leaning towards me, his hand waiting patiently for the money. I jumped and accidentally dropped the coins in surprise. They fell to the floor with a clatter and I had to watch, internally humiliated, as Alfred good-naturedly picked them up and handed them to the driver.

"Butterfingers you got there," he commented chuckling at his own joke. I didn't understand it one bit but I tried to smile back.

The jeepney lurched to a stop and the driver hollered the location. At about the same time, the fat fellow woke up from his sleep and sluggishly made his way out of the compartment. Alfred also rose from his seat and prepared to disembark. Before leaving, he kindly turned to me, "I guess I'll see you around. I'm gonna be riding this bus to and from work this whole week so maybe if we're lucky we'll see each other again. Bye, Maria." He grabbed my hand and gave it a firm handshake and rushed out so fast I couldn't even answer a goodbye.

"Boyfriend mo yon, neng? (Was that your boyfriend, child?)" the old lady next to me grinned. A few of her teeth were missing, but nevertheless she was friendly, eyes sparkling warmly.

"H-Hindi po (No)!" I denied.

"Bakit hindi? Gwapo naman siya, eh. Kung ayaw mo, saakin na lang siya. (Why not? He's pretty good looking. If you don't want him, I'll have him)."

I was skipping like a little kid when I got home. All the stress was wiped off of me because of my friendly encounter with an American in the jeepney. My parents who were both in the kitchen cooking supper, peeked out and stared like I had grown two heads.

"Anong nang yari sayo? (What happened to you?)"

"Magandang hapon po (Good evening)." I blessed Papa's free hand and kissed Mama on the cheek. They continued to gawk, with a very skeptical expression. It wasn't everyday I'd be so happy and affectionate towards them; that task was solely left to my little sisters which I was working so hard to pay college for. Coming home every day and collapsing asleep in the couch was more of the normal things I _would_ do.

"Kamusta ang araw mo, anak? Mukang happy na happy ka ngayon ah. (How was your day, dear? You look very happy today.)," Mama chuckled stirring the tinola in the pot.

"May nakasulobong po akong lalaki sa je- (I met a guy in the je-)."

Mama cut me off with an interested squeal and Papa lifted his eyes from the newspaper he was reading. _Hay naku_ (Oh dear).

My mother left her cooking and danced towards me. "Ano! Gwapo ba siya? Matangkad siya? Mabait? Ano ang trabaho nya? Baka walang yung trabaho. Sinasabi ko sayo Maria, hindi maganda ang asawa na tamad! (What! Is he handsome? Is he tall? Nice? What's his job? He better have a job. I'm telling you Maria, it's not good to have a lazy husband!)"

"Asawa? (Husband?)" I cried.

"Of course! Mag boyfriend ka na kaya, Maria! Baka maging matandang dalaga ka (Get a boyfriend already, Maria! You might end up as an old, single lady)," Mama urged on.

"Mama naman! ( Seriously Mama!)"

Papa trained his eyes suspiciously at me. "Anong lahi ba siya? (What is his race?)"

"Hindi naman po yun importante Papa. Pero Americano po siya… (It's not like that's important, Papa. But he is American…)," I mumbled.

"Grabe ang anak ko! Naka score pa nang Americano. Anong tinging mo Papa?(That's my girl! She even scored an American! What do you think Papa?)"

"Pwede (Okay)," was all he said and went back to reading his paper. Papa was always a man of few words. "Humanda siya sakin bag sinaktan ka… (He better get ready if he ever hurts you…)."

"Hindi naman po kami nag date eh. Kakakita ko lang po nung pag sakay ko po say jeepney. (We're not dating. I just saw him in the jeepney today)," I said. He looked up at me again a little angry.

"Ano ba kayo ni mama mo. Nakakita lang nang gwupong puti sa jeep, diretso na sa mahal. (What are you and your mother thinking? You just saw a handsome white guy in the jeep and you already love him.)"

Now that I thought about it, I just realized how silly it was to fall in love so quickly with a guy I didn't even know. Nevertheless, the next day I was in high hopes that I'd see him again. Sure enough, Alfred never managed to be late. For the next five days, I'd get on the jeep and see him enthusiastically waving at me.

We'd sit and talk on hours end about random things. Alfred would occasionally teach me English and I'd teach a few Tagalog words. Other times he would tell me stories about his homeland. He seemed really passionate about his country. From what I've learned, he lived and worked in America's capitol where there was a big white building with great monuments and statues surrounding it. He also said that it snowed during the 'winter' and it covered the landscape like a great, white blanket. I've never seen snow before and I can only wonder how cold it was from what he described.

"Well if you ever drop by the States I can show you around. I've been to all fifty," he offered.

"There is fifty?" That sure is a lot of states for one country. I suppose it's true that America has more and bigger things than Philippines. But then again, we do have 7,107 islands here, though they're relatively small.

"Yup. From sea to shining sea! Let's see, there's New York, Kansas, Alabama, Washington, Arizona, California, Alaska…umm there's a lot more but those are the ones I can name from the top of my head. There's even an island one somewhere out here in the Pacific."

We talked even more about his experiences here in the Philippines, how hospitable people were being towards him, how easy it was to get from place to place without having to rent a car, and _most _importantly, how small the serving size was for fast food here.

"Yeah, so I was like ordering an extra-large burger with a side order of medium coke and a sundae, and so the dude came back with a tiny burger and a single whirl of ice cream – in a cover lid!," he spoke animatedly. "I mean it was so small that I devoured it in a single bite! I had to order eight more to get me satisfied."

"That is not normal in your country?" I asked. The cashier must have been happy with the amount of food he bought and the money that came along with it. Still, I can't imagine how anyone could finish eight hamburgers and just be _satisfied_.

"Oh no, when we say hamburger we're talking about a full blown Texas sized patty in a bun! And we get our pint of ice cream in a cup, not the lid. Oh, and our pizzas are literally stuffed to its limit. Ever seen a Chicago style pizza before?"

I shook my head no and Alfred flipped out his phone and showed me a picture. It was a gigantic, tomato sauce topped _thing, _three inches tall. Alfred was sitting in a table beside _it_, a peace sign up and his arm slung around man (that closely matched his appearance, yet much subtler) making a terrified expression.

We laughed at the picture and braced ourselves as the jeepney stopped by the school again.

But as I would have expected, all good things must come to an end eventually. It was a Sunday when I met Alfred again in our accustomed meeting place, but this time he was carrying a large blue suitcase and a backpack. I greeted him casually and fixed my eyes at the American flag stickers dotting his bags. I think he called my name, but I couldn't hear him from the droning buzz in my ear. Or maybe it was just because I didn't want to listen to what he was going to say.

I could hear myself praying in my head for the driver not to stop the jeepney in the next place. I prayed for him to keep driving, forever if he had to, just so everything wouldn't end for both of us today. The buzzing in my ear grew as I watched the street signs pass on behind us. Everything; my senses were becoming numb. Suddenly, the jeepney stopped as I had feared. People were coming out of the vehicle slowly, leaving me and Alfred in the rows. I couldn't bear to look at Alfred directly now, but I knew he was staring at me.

"Look, Maria. I don't know if you're listening, but I'm going back home to the States. I just finished my job here and my boss is calling me back where I'm needed. It was very nice meeting you here, Maria. You've been an awesome friend and I'll never forget you. _Paalam_," he shook my unmoving hands with a farewell smile and left.

I just sat there motionless, all by myself in the jeepney with the driver restarting the engine for the last time that afternoon.

_Paalam…_

I see he remembered the word for goodbye. Granted, that he pronounced it incorrectly and came out a bit slurred with his American accent. Everything went by so fast, I couldn't help but flinch. One day Alfred was joking around beside me, the next, he's saying goodbye and off to America.

I mean, how stupid was I to fall for him when we just met in a jeepney a couple days ago. I was a moron to think our relationship, if it was even anywhere near that, would go somewhere and that we'd live happily ever after for many, many years to come. Honestly, this isn't some cheesy *teleserye or *telenovela I'm living through. This was just plain and bitter life for me.

_Na sisiraan na siguro ang ulo ko. _(I must be going crazy).

My eyes welled up from the sudden realization and I bit my lip to suppress them. It was a good thing I was alone in the jeep, otherwise I would've made a bigger fool of myself.

Grabe, ang baduy naman ito. (Gosh, this is so lame). I smacked my forehead and laughed humorlessly.

"Okay ka lang diyan, neng? (Are you okay back there, girl?)," the jeepney driver called from the front.

"O-Opo, manong… (Yes, sir…)." At that point, I couldn't take anymore and let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. _And tanga tanga ko! Nakakainis! _(I'm so stupid! It's annoying!)

The driver checked on me from his seat with pity in his eyes once in a while. I was doing an awfully good job bawling like a baby in the back, I couldn't blame him for wishing I'd get out already.

"Okay lang yun. Bata kapa naman. Madami pa diyan manga lalaki, hindi lang yung Americano na yun. (It's okay. You're still young. There're a lot of other guys out there, not just that American.)," he reassured me. I nodded grimly in return but continued crying. It truly sucks falling for such a nice, sincere guy like Alfred. But I had to move on somehow. At the time being however, it would be appropriate to cry (no matter how pathetic it was).

The jeepney passed through Metro Manila and many the other cities. All the while, I was sulking in my seat still thinking about the American I had met not so long ago. As before, I held on to the ceiling handle and tried to sleep. It would be much better than crying that's for sure, I thought as the vehicle came to a break again. Familiar footsteps of a passenger tapped the metal floor.

_Wag mong isipin si Alfred. (Don't think of Alfred.)_

_Wag mong isipin si Alfred. Don't think of Alfred.) _

_Wag mong isipin si Alfred. (Don't think of Alfred.)_

_Wag mong isipin si- (Don't think of-)_

"Pardon me, miss. Are you alright?"

I opened a sore eye and was greeted with emerald, green pairs. A choppy blonde haired man offered me a handkerchief with concerned look in his face. Another foreigner with another peculiar accent?

_*Susmaryosep! Inglesero din ito!_ (He speaks English too!)_  
_

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**One more thing to keep in mind, most Filipinos (unlike Maria) _do_ know how to speak some English. Our lovely character over here just didnt pay attention enough in high school. ^ ^;**

Translations:

**Barkeros:** People who announce to potential passengers a specific jeepney's destinations. They get paid to help the drivers attract more customers onto the jeep.

**Ano: **It is similar to "Umm" and "Uhh." It is often use to fill in blanks when you're thinking of what to say next.

**Teleserye and Telenovela: **They are like soap drama series in the Philippines. Plenty of drama, angst, and the occasional cheesy line smashed into a hit television show.

**Susmaryosep: **equivalent to "oh my god"


End file.
